Four-Twelve Groups
Frequently Asked questions
Do Four-Twelve Groups require a leader?
These kinds of groups do not necessarily require a leader, but they do require that someone familiar with the process outlined here to help facilitate the group off to a good start. We also tend to believe that it takes a disciple to make a disciple. A group will be stronger if it is being facilitated by someone who is well on their way to exemplifying characteristics of a disciple of Christ—namely a growing love for God, obedience to his Word, and love for people. Part of the appeal of being in a Four-Twelve Group is that it has a very simple format. Typically, there will be someone who helps initiate the group and gently facilitate the meetings, but these groups are ultimately centered on each person having the opportunity to share with the others in the group, therefore they do not really require an official leader. The simple answer is that these groups require a bit of planning and facilitation, but do not need an official leader.
Who should I ask to be in a Four-Twelve Band with me?
We consider this something that you should enter with some level of prayer. There may be people in your life who you already feel a sense of spiritual connection with, especially if you are already in a Grow Group. There may be friends whom you have known for some time who also have a desire to grow deeper in their faith. There also might be people whom you already have been encouraging toward deeper discipleship who come to mind. Choose people whom you are comfortable with or could see yourself being comfortable with.
How frequently should a Four-Twelve Group meet together?
A consistent time each week works best. As a rule, if half or more of the group cannot make a meeting, the meeting should be cancelled. Do not worry about rescheduling. Meet again at the set time the following week. Life happens. Aim for four meetings a month, but settle for nothing less than three meetings per month. If it slips to two, the meeting time should be reconsidered. Meeting together can take on a variety of formats, in person and online if needed.
The point is to do whatever works and be open to varying the format as the need of the week demands. If only two people from the group can meet in the same place, allow the other members to Zoom or call in. Do what works and whatever it takes.
How long should a Four-Twelve Group meeting last?
The length of the meeting will depend on how many people are in your group since each gets 15-20 minutes to share. A suggested agenda is included below.
These kinds of groups do not necessarily require a leader, but they do require that someone familiar with the process outlined here to help facilitate the group off to a good start. We also tend to believe that it takes a disciple to make a disciple. A group will be stronger if it is being facilitated by someone who is well on their way to exemplifying characteristics of a disciple of Christ—namely a growing love for God, obedience to his Word, and love for people. Part of the appeal of being in a Four-Twelve Group is that it has a very simple format. Typically, there will be someone who helps initiate the group and gently facilitate the meetings, but these groups are ultimately centered on each person having the opportunity to share with the others in the group, therefore they do not really require an official leader. The simple answer is that these groups require a bit of planning and facilitation, but do not need an official leader.
Who should I ask to be in a Four-Twelve Band with me?
We consider this something that you should enter with some level of prayer. There may be people in your life who you already feel a sense of spiritual connection with, especially if you are already in a Grow Group. There may be friends whom you have known for some time who also have a desire to grow deeper in their faith. There also might be people whom you already have been encouraging toward deeper discipleship who come to mind. Choose people whom you are comfortable with or could see yourself being comfortable with.
How frequently should a Four-Twelve Group meet together?
A consistent time each week works best. As a rule, if half or more of the group cannot make a meeting, the meeting should be cancelled. Do not worry about rescheduling. Meet again at the set time the following week. Life happens. Aim for four meetings a month, but settle for nothing less than three meetings per month. If it slips to two, the meeting time should be reconsidered. Meeting together can take on a variety of formats, in person and online if needed.
The point is to do whatever works and be open to varying the format as the need of the week demands. If only two people from the group can meet in the same place, allow the other members to Zoom or call in. Do what works and whatever it takes.
How long should a Four-Twelve Group meeting last?
The length of the meeting will depend on how many people are in your group since each gets 15-20 minutes to share. A suggested agenda is included below.
Once formed, how long is the commitment of being in a Four-Twelve Band?
People tend to be hesitant when we invite them into a commitment that seemingly has no ending or exit point. We recommend setting an initial trial period of four-eight weeks. If after your "trial period", the group wishes to continue they can re-up and commit to meeting together for at least three more months. This should be enough time to establish some rhythms and get a sense for whether the group is a good fit. At the four-month mark, we encourage an open and honest conversation asking how it’s going. Some may wish to start another Four-Twelve Group with other after this experience. Others may decide this is not working for them at this time. Groups with the most success will adjust as necessary and find patterns that work for the group, and with this our hope is that people will discover groups they can meet with for years and years to come.
Why are Four-Twelve Groups supposed to be same gender?
We maintain that this particular type of group be single gender in order to increase the possibility of sharing with openness and honesty. While we strongly support the practice of mixed gender mentoring relationships, this is not the vision of this particular type of group. Based on research, mixed-gender Four-Twelve Groups can lead to either under or over sharing; both of which can distract from the essential purpose of participating in a group like this.
What if I am not comfortable sharing personally in front of others?
For some, the invitation to take fifteen minutes and share about themselves with others sounds like a nightmare. You may choose to share less on any given week, and this will be fine. Perhaps, if you feel you have nothing to share, you may simply take a pass or just ask to have people pray for you. This is okay as well. We recommend that you view the questions as an aid to your sharing time—it is not required that each person answer all the questions each time that you meet. For a season, the group could decide to just answer question one for the first month of meeting. Then add question two and five, and when you are ready, begin answering questions three and four. We find it usually requires someone in the group being willing to go first to be vulnerable which will open up the permission in the others to go there as well.
People tend to be hesitant when we invite them into a commitment that seemingly has no ending or exit point. We recommend setting an initial trial period of four-eight weeks. If after your "trial period", the group wishes to continue they can re-up and commit to meeting together for at least three more months. This should be enough time to establish some rhythms and get a sense for whether the group is a good fit. At the four-month mark, we encourage an open and honest conversation asking how it’s going. Some may wish to start another Four-Twelve Group with other after this experience. Others may decide this is not working for them at this time. Groups with the most success will adjust as necessary and find patterns that work for the group, and with this our hope is that people will discover groups they can meet with for years and years to come.
Why are Four-Twelve Groups supposed to be same gender?
We maintain that this particular type of group be single gender in order to increase the possibility of sharing with openness and honesty. While we strongly support the practice of mixed gender mentoring relationships, this is not the vision of this particular type of group. Based on research, mixed-gender Four-Twelve Groups can lead to either under or over sharing; both of which can distract from the essential purpose of participating in a group like this.
What if I am not comfortable sharing personally in front of others?
For some, the invitation to take fifteen minutes and share about themselves with others sounds like a nightmare. You may choose to share less on any given week, and this will be fine. Perhaps, if you feel you have nothing to share, you may simply take a pass or just ask to have people pray for you. This is okay as well. We recommend that you view the questions as an aid to your sharing time—it is not required that each person answer all the questions each time that you meet. For a season, the group could decide to just answer question one for the first month of meeting. Then add question two and five, and when you are ready, begin answering questions three and four. We find it usually requires someone in the group being willing to go first to be vulnerable which will open up the permission in the others to go there as well.